Grief myths ... there are just so many of them. Everyone around us has unrealistic expectations about grief because of these myths and it makes dealing with our grief so much more difficult.
Disclaimer - many of these myths made this list because they are universally untrue. This does not mean that they are never true. Keep this in mind as you read on.
Grief has an endpoint.
Grief is forever ... It however is not a bad thing. It means that someone we loved is gone and that their memory will be with us forever. Grief may become more manageable, but it will always be there and that's ok.
It's too bad that often others feel like we should have reached the "end" of our grief.
There is a timeline for grief.
The first year is the worst. If you are still grieving the loss of someone or holding on to their things after "X" amount of years, you are "stuck" in your grief.
Time Heals all wounds.
The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone. - Rose Kennedy
You recover from grief the same was as you recover from a cold, it gets better every day until its completely gone.
All untrue. There are ups and downs, good days and bad months. Grief is not a straight line and the end point is not feeling all better.
grief and mourning are the same.
Most people tend to use the word grief and mourning interchangeably. There is an important distinction between them. Grief is the internal thoughts and feelings we have when someone close to us dies. Mourning is how we externally show our grief. In most cases, people grieve but do not mourn.
We are often told to "carry on" and "keep busy", so we grieve alone on the inside without the presence of those who could offer support.
your friends and family or those who have gone through the same experience will be the best to help you through grief.
Just because someone has lost their child or parent does not mean their experiences will be the same as yours. Sometimes, someone with similar experiences will be your best support but other times someone who has experienced something totally different will be able to help you best. Other times, someone who has not gone through grief at all will be the best to listen and not compare their grief to yours.
if you are not crying, you're not grieving or if you are crying, you are weak.
Not everyone is a crier. Just because you are not showing emotion, does not mean you are not grieving. This goes back to the grief and mourning differences. You do not need to show any outward emotion to be grieving.
Crying on the part of those mourning often generates feelings of helplessness in friends, family and caregivers. Out of a wish to protect others, you may hold back your tears. Tears are natures way of releasing internal tension and allows the person mourning to show a need to be comforted. Tears are not a sign of weakness, rather an indication that the person who is grieving is also willing to mourn.
grief support and strategies.
There are several ways to grieve and even more ways to mourn. Finding what works best for you is the indication that everyone goes through the process differently.
If you have lost someone and are looking for different ways to grieve or mourn, attend our Grief Support Open House on Friday, April 20th. We will have local businesses in shop to offer different alternatives to grief management and share their services on grief support.
A poster with more details will be out soon.