the heroine author talks about her battle with grief
For those of you who may not know Cheryl Hunter - she is a super talented lady from Bonnyville. Cheryl is an Author and Motivational Speaker who has most recently published her first book "Heroine".
Here is her Bio:
We've been continuing on our journey through grief and hoped she would have something to contribute.
Here is her story:
Feeling is Dealing
Slow punishing rhythms of sorrow
Please someone's fertility can I borrow
One moment I'm brave and strong
The next I swear life is all wrong
So grateful and yet so torn
I need to allow myself to mourn
How does that look
Waves of emotion cutting me like a jagged hook
I am exposed. Open for the world to see
Please God allow my pain to set me free
Send a wave of love and constant peace to rescue me
We often talk about how to deal with grief. Follow these set steps to find your way through the dark…
Grief is universal. It affects everyone – Every age, race, gender, and group. It doesn't discriminate. We all at some point face it and either we surrender to it or it will it swallow us like a continuous wave.
How to deal with grief? That question is so complex. Though grief is universal, everyone deals with it in their own unique way.
So, is there a right way to grieve and move on? Instead of providing a few steps on how one could cope and deal to move past their grief, I am going to offer a different perspective - How to feel grief.
I'm a person who was always taught to move on. To have a cry and then rise above. Look to the bright side. See the glass half full and don't focus on the pain. I do think that's good at a certain point in the process, but we are missing the key part of the whole healing journey if we don't teach people how to feel.
As a teenager, I lost my home to a fire. My dad faked his death in my twenties and later I survived three horrific miscarriages. I know grief intimately. It's been my biggest nemesis and my greatest teacher.
I spent years "trying" to deal with my grief. And to no avail I was still drowning in the waves of agony. I had to come to the realization that in order to truly heal, I had to feel the deep-rooted despair.
I'm learning to sense the pain and let it consume me. Let it take hold and honour whatever emotion arises to the surface. It's ok to feel it. It's safe to fully grieve. It’s what your mind, body, and soul need to heal from that pain.
From my own experience, if you keep pushing those emotions down deeper and deeper - You become your own prison. The worst prisons are the ones you don't even know you are in. That is grief. It's a silent killer and it will rot you from the inside out if you don't allow yourself to feel it and heal from it.
Cry. Yell. Scream. Be still-Feel it. Let it out so it doesn't take root.
I never truly felt the misery and the loss from watching my home burn to the ground. My home was no longer safe. After that, I was face to face with depression in my family and the sadness that slowly strangled my household pushed me deeper into grief. I thought I was dealing with my pain by simply moving forward each day but in fact I just pushed it further down. Then miscarriage after miscarriage happened and I couldn’t shove it any further. It started to overflow. Grief seeped out of my pores. I spent 20 years in that prison and I was shackled to the sorrow. I needed to break free. One day I had an epiphany. “I need to feel it to truly heal and to let it go.”
My story isn’t to tell you how to grieve and how to move on but rather how to touch it and let it devour you. Let yourself feel it with all your being and all your senses. Let it flow through you. Let the sorrow be introduced to your soul. It’s so needed for the healing process. Yet we try to deny that step. Is it torture? Yes. But I promise you it’s freedom. On the other side of the pain is healing. It’s from that pain you progress. You just need to feel it for a moment in time and then allow yourself to move through it. By feeling and dealing you will arise through the ashes and emerge stronger because you allowed the pain to increase your depth and grit.
Because once you realize if you stop fighting the waves, you will float to the top and breathe again.
You have led a prison break.